When my charitable fellow-writers
were burning my effigy
and not poking my guts with their pocket-knives —
They wasted on me
their bottle of gasoline in vain,
because I had already
burnt myself down to ashes.
Inhaling the charming aroma of human shit
near the wooden outhouse,
I was minding
radishes, garlic and onions.
I had stuck up too long as a romantic scarecrow,
clumsily trying to embrace the world
with my stiff pine hands.
I was stuffed with straw.
I never noticed
how life was changing,
and how arrogantly sparrows were behaving.
I was burnt as punishment
because of my dangerous talent
for being so readily inflammable
in politics, and in love.
Only my charred framework was saved in the clouds of smoke,
but the fire couldn’t altogether destroy my hands.
In the cinders of myself I was slowly dying,
But my black stumps
desperately wanted
to embrace, to embrace, to embrace.
And when one of my brother-writers struck another match,
I heard his envious whisper:
“Scarecrow, you wanted too much, my dear!
A great role in history
is not for you.
Trying to tower over the turnips and cabbages,
you pretended to be a genius.”
And with my last, almost dead blue flame,
I sputtered like a torched fireman,
who couldn’t save himself from the fire.
All my medals of honor
were melted like buttons.
If the Soviet Union were burnt down,
why couldn’t they burn me?
And when so-called patriots
splashed the rest of the gas on my effigy,
and one nightingale from Army headquarters
sang sadistically through his nostrils,
one unembraceably humongous woman street cleaner
was sweeping up my ashes with her tender broom.
And all the saccharine ladies
and sleazy, vaselined intellectuals
were coolly observing
my last convulsions,
and some of my comrades-in-arms,
the noblest of my generation,
threw the finest oil onto the fire —
their greasy goodbye.
My beloved, what are you searching for
in the field of ashes?
My heart, if it survived after all,
was probably not empty, but still able to love,
not forgetting it too was loved.
Yevgeny Yevtushenko (1932 - 2017) Russia
Translated Geoffrey Dutton and Albert Todd
Source: Ashville Poetry Review 6 Vol. 3 No. 2, 1996
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