A Flyer - Norman Erikson Pasaribu

This software will assemble a series of steps that

will guarantee you’ll be happy for the rest of your life.

It was created in response to skewed notions of ‘happiness’

which have caused acute sorrow of pandemic proportions.

To begin, please enter your personal data, including

your real taxable income and passwords. All of your passwords.

The program will compile news stories, laws, cultural norms

and noteworthy social media posts relevant to your current location.

Using the information amassed, it will generate a SWOT matrix

to keep as a basis for further assessment, at which point

under the software’s guidance, you will ascertain what you must do

to exploit your strengths, combat weaknesses, seize opportunities and anticipate

threats, thus providing you with financial, familial, legal,

social, and spiritual fulfilment and security.

Of course, if your tastes and preferences are somewhat unique –

let’s say you’re a lesbian who has a love

for cats and classic poetry

like Inferno or Paradise Lost – more time will be required

to complete the mapping process (solvable

by upgrading your computer’s RAM to 16 GB). Also,

the program may need to ask further questions: is it a must

for you to be with someone who loves reading too?

And how much are you prepared to compromise when it comes to your sexuality –

would you be willing to make out with a man in the dark?

Have you saved enough, are you brave enough to start life afresh

in a place better able to accommodate you:

Antarctica, for instance?

This software also takes other users’ priorities into account.

For example, if 200 would-be college applicants are obsessed

with getting a certain degree at the most prestigious university in country X

and there are only 150 spaces, then the program will be forced

to advise the 50 users with the lowest academic scores

to settle. Failure is a punch in the guts and they have to face facts.

You would derive maximum benefit if your nearest and dearest signed up:

accounting for environmental factors will produce more accurate results.

You see, we believe that an individual’s path to happiness is coextensive,

with the paths of others and is sometimes even at cross-purposes – like a trawl net.

However, if you come across this flyer only after everyone else

is dead: Even better. You can use the program straight          away.

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Norman Erikson Pasaribu (born 1990) Indonesia

Translated by Tiffany Tsao

Source: Modern Poetry in Translation, The House of Thirst, 2018 Number 2