Venice masks

Wednesday 9 June 2021

Doubts - Reina María Rodríguez

Today I’d like to write about what I need—
not to waste time
or throw words down into gulleys
descending into my depths
naked and alone

what proofs can I give of my existence.

I am simply    ugly
with freckles                dreams and sores
I have two children,
and another will be born this September.
I’m not a good investment—
right away I get pregnant—
I’m number 338 123 on the i.d. card
without a photo—the children destroyed it—
or any black marks—because I don’t have any
previous convictions—large or small.

I work as a writer of programs
for a salary of 163 pesos
a career of literature
many daring poems
and friends in four categories:
normal        good       very bad        and sad
a house that isn’t mine
a fan         a comb
the balalaika that my brother gave me
the piano from my childhood concerts
a magnifier to see things more clearly
the photos of Marti and Hemingway,
reproductions
books that no one stole from me yet
maps to enlarge the walls
letters from old loves
a watch        a blue butterfly       a heart.

and many doubts
endless doubts about my life.

Reina María Rodríguez (born 1952) Cuba
Translated by William Allen
Source: Bomb Magazine, Issue 9, April 1984

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