I want to say - Daiva Cepauskaite

I want to say — I'm in love
but I feel ashamed
of making such a fool of myself,
so I say — I hate.
I want to say — I hate
but I have no enemies,
so I say — cheers.
I want to say — hello
but I might say it too loud,
so I pretend I don't see anyone.
I want to say — goodbye
but I'm afraid I'll return
so I say nothing.
I want to say nothing
but it will be too silent,
so I say — it's raining.
I want to say — it's cold
but no one will hear
so I put on warm clothes.
I want to say — I'm going
but there's nobody around,
so I simply go.
I want to say — sparrow
but maybe it'll be misunderstood,
so I say — stone.
I want to say — it hurts
but I've already said it,
so I clench my teeth.
I want to say — it stinks,
but that would be uncouth,
so I hold my breath.
I want to say — to hell
but it's evident without saying it,
so I say — some soup?
I want to say — why
but nobody replies
to stupid questions,
so I say nothing, nothing.
I want to say — it's nice
but nobody argues about taste,
so I say — yesterday.
I want to say but I do not say,
because I can't, and when I can't — I don't want to.
I want to say — I want
but wishes don't always come true,
so I say — caramel
or I say humbug.
I want to say — uh-huh,
but in such cases nothing is being said,
so I say — the weather's nice.
I want to say — no matter,
but if it's of no matter
you wouldn't speak at all.

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Daiva Cepauskaite  (born 1967) Lithuania
Translated by Eugenijus Ališanka and Kerry Shawn Keys
Source: Arc Publications