(Nobody knows) Why I loved Fascist - Eka Kevanishvili

I beg your pardon, but

All was well in the beginning

He looked like a guardian angel

Of mine

I was wearing a see-through silver dress, singing

He was eyeing me pleased, not interfering

I had a red lipstick on, kissing others

He was watching me with a smile, not interfering,

I was looking him in the eyes, ruining things

He was staring at me calmly, not interfering;

He said it would pass and laughed

He said I shouldn’t worry and hugged me

He said there is no love, watching me closely

He never asked for anything

I undressed myself;

And I stood before him, ready for the gas chamber

The poison filling it gradually, pleasantly,

We moved to his camp – living together the two of us

The camp was secret and restricted

He would bring some food in the evening

I listened to his theories about (allegedly) fascist love

I liked that

All was well in the beginning

I loved him

All was well in the beginning

Until I decided to carve my number on my wrists

The number of his possession

Of my ownership

I did not have a red lipstick on any more

Or a see-through dress

I was his personal blind pet

Unable to cross a street alone

I was standing in the camp in a chosen corner

Waiting for him, waiting for

Guess what?

The fusillade

In fact

Being shot

Is not that painful

I know that now

And also I know:

Bull shit!

There are no personal angels

Let alone, guardian!

Let alone, men!

---

Eka Kevanishvili (born 1979) Georgia

Translated by Ketevan Kanchashvili

Source: LyrikLine